One of the hardest things to deal with about getting older isn't any of the obvious stuff...the tiny changes in face and body ( that will no doubt give way to larger changes in decades to come), or the fact that suddenly you're surrounded by people married with babies who used to be your closest last call comrades. It's not the new responsibilities and considerations that take the place of lesser priorities (such as smoking weed and listening to Thievery Corporation as the sunlight changes in your bedroom). It's that hopefully you're reaching a point in your life where you want loved ones to be honest with you about your short comings so you can be a better person. You want to do active work on the parts of yourself that make you a lesser friend or partner or lover. And of course, it's easier said than done. Because the minute that someone works up the nerve to raise their hand and offers you a pearl of wisdom to aid on your road to better self awareness, you become certain it's a sand granule of bullshit.
Because it's fucking hard to listen to criticisms about yourself with an open mind. It's hard to stop, drop, and roll with what's being said. To not let your knee jerk and to calmly analyze why you are being perceived the way you are. It's so important to stop and listen and to resist every instinct to turn the tables on the person who is trying to help you. Growing older you realize that it's not a good idea to go through life with two middle fingers in the air "not giving a fuck" about what others think. It takes a village and there is always a balance to maintain.
But the beauty of it all is that when you really sit with what is being said and identify what you can do better and what needs work for the sake of yourself and the others around you, you get to sift through and find the things that you know you can't change. You are able to truly discern what are parts of you and your personality that are never going to go away. You might be able to change how you react to something and what you say, but maybe you'll never be able to change your inherently sensitive nature (you will always cry at the part in The Neverending Story when Artax succumbs to the sadness swamp.) Perhaps you can work on how you express your opinion, but not that you are opinionated. And ultimately the aspects of your personality that are steadfast are things that make you uniquely you. Maybe they are things that rub people the wrong way or make you look like a weirdo in group settings, but that's when you know when to stop caring too much about what other people have to tell you about yourself and how to live your life. Without these foibles you couldn't shine as brightly as you do.
This whole process it's necessary and important. It's like unearthing diamonds when all you were expecting were rubies.
